Spazzing over Pazz and Jop: My imaginary ballot pre-game
In these final hours of Martin Luther King Day, I am enjoying the final hours of two supremely talented black men welcoming me to the Pazz and Jop website. For tomorrow, those faces will be replaced by white ones: hopefully two pretty girls, but more likely, the douchetacular mug of Justin Vernon, whose smarmy faux-humility will no doubt be in overdrive tomorrow.
Of course, I am one of those notorious wastrels who complains but does not vote; in fact, I’ve never voted in Pazz and Jop. I’ve never written prolifically or professionally enough for such perks. But I am a blogger (as of yesterday), and obscurity is no barrier for my critical opinions. So had I developed the talent or ambition to become a 2011 P&J voter, here is how my ballot would have looked:
ALBUMS*
1. tUnE-yArDs, W H O K I L L (20)
2. Cults, Cults (14)
3. Kurt Vile, Smoke Ring for My Halo (14)
4. Pistol Annies, Hell on Heels (10)
5. Butch Walker and the Black Widows, The Spade (10)
6. Jay-Z & Kanye West, Watch the Throne (8)
7. Dum Dum Girls, Only in Dreams (8)
8. Foo Fighters, Wasting Light (6)
9. Times New Viking, Dancer Equired! (5)
10. Fleet Foxes, Helplessness Blues (5)
*-Numbers in parentheses denote point values. Voters are to distribute 100 points among their 10 albums, with no albums earning more than 30 or less than 5 points.
SINGLES
1. James Blake, “The Wilhelm Scream”
2. Tyler, the Creator, “Yonkers”
3. Rebecca Black, “Friday”
4. Nicki Minaj, “Super Bass”
5. Vivian Girls, “I Heard You Say”
6. J. Cole, “Lost Ones”
7. YACHT, “Shangri-La”
8. Luke Bryan, “Country Girl (Shake It for Me)”
9. Adele, “Someone Like You”
10. Grouplove, “Tongue Tied”
I hope to post detailed write-ups on these choices, and the year in music in general, in the coming weeks — before Grammy time, perhaps. But in the meantime, this will measure how my “best” music of the year stacks up against 800 or so better-known (and probably not much better-paid) critics whose ballots will be published tomorrow.
